the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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