He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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