About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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