I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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