I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After tacos, we're chasing women.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
