no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
