Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
