Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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