Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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