HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
