i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
