He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
now i know why i became what i already was.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My dick has a subreddit
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
