the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
