I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
