What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
As shirtless as possible
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
