You know, be my cock's hype man.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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