Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize