Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
