Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
