Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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