You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
