she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
