Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she pinky promised me she was 18
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
