but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
