We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
