i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
