This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
