So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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