Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
