I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize