Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My penis needs a shock collar
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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