This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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