he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
