guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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