so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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