Whod you bang
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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