he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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