as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize