I cockslap morals
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
