I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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