dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
