I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
