dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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