she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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