I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did i walk over a car last night?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
