addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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