..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize