I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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