Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize