Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
