you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
