i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize