Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
