Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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