Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize