Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize