If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
