do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
