like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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