mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
