I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
