you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize