Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
