Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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