You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
