I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
