We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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