tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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