Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
