I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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