my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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