Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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