just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
